(Analytic) Religion – The Bible in Its ANCIENT Context
(Analytic) Religion – The Bible in Its ANCIENT Context
This is 5 pages ‘ANALYTIC’ paper about ancient myth stuff.
There are 7 suggested topics to choose but you have the freedom to make your own topic around the same scope and write. Hence, if you are comfortable with one topic or
even have a topic of your own, go ahead! :). It is much better if you are comfortable with a topic.
If you neReligion 317
Potential Paper Topics
General comment: The following are only suggested topics. You are not required to
utilize one of these; rather, they are meant to serve as examples of the sorts of topics you
might choose.
1. A close analysis of a small passage from an ancient myth. Make a minute analysis of
a short passage, no more than 10 lines. Be as detailed as you can be, word-for-word, if
you can. Show what the role of the passage is, how the writer/editor constructs it and for
what purpose he/she does so. Consider the original intent of the passage versus those
aspects that make it of modern interest.
2. A biblical, mythical comparison. Take a character from one of the myths we have
read, e.g., Atrahasis versus Noah, Eve versus Shamhat and consider what points they
have in common and how are they distinct from one another. Illustrate your points with
specific text references. What does the distinction tell us about the difference between
the biblical view and that of the surrounding cultures of the ancient near east?
3. Marduk versus Yahweh. Both of these gods are involved in creative acts. How is
creation by Yahweh and Marduk similar; how is it different? What does the distinction
tell you about the biblical view of creation versus the view found in Enuma ellish?
4. Repetition in ancient myths. Repetition plays a prominent role in a number of stories
we read. Consider a prominent example and further consider what role such repetition
may play in the story. Why should such a repetitive recitation be so important in ancient
near eastern story and so little employed in western narrative?
5. The use of mythic types. Sometimes it seems possible to isolate given themes or
genres in complex myths like the Flood story or Enuma elish. Consider an example and
cite your grounds for concluding that it is a type, e.g., there are other examples of the
type found in other narratives. What role does the type play in advancing the story?
6. Sometimes we have more than one version of a story to consider. What marks the
distinctions between versions of a given story, are the differences significant and if so,
why?
7. Gender in myths: What role does gender play in myth whether in the Ancient Near
East in general or versus the biblical view of gender in myth. This could be seen in terms
of humanity, the gods (vs. the biblical God, e.g.,) or both. How different is the female
role in the Ancient Near East from that in the Bible. What about sex? A wide range of
possible topics could be developed around the gender theme. ed more sources from me, such as readings that are mentioned in the suggested topics, let me know, I’ll
upload it.
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Zuckerman’s Paper Guide
I. Paper Logistics
A. All papers must be submitted electronically as Microsoft Word files (.docx) either to the
designated Teaching Assistant or (only if there is no TA) directly to the instructor by email.
Do not send your paper as a PDF file. Be sure to include your name in the file name for
your paper, e.g. “Smith_short_paper.docx”. If you do not receive prompt acknowledgment
of your paper by return email, do not assume that it has been submitted. If you do not
receive acknowledgment, always double-check that it has been properly received.
B. Papers must be double-spaced. Page numbers should always be marked.
C. All papers should have proper titles. A title should be interesting and relevant to the
argument of the paper. “Short Paper,” “Paper Exercise 1” or “Term Paper” are not
acceptable titles!
D. All papers should be carefully proofread and in grammatically correct English. Papers
submitted that are not up to appropriate standards in this regard will be severely
penalized.
E. Comments and corrections will be done via the “track changes” and “coment” formats
in Word.
F. You should be sure to keep a backup copy of any paper you submit for grading—
preferably as a file that is not on your computer (e.g., on a thumb-drive). Should a
submitted paper be lost for whatever reason (even if it is the fault of the instructor), then a
student must be able to resubmit another copy of the paper in a timely fashion on demand
by the instructor. The excuse that the originally submitted paper was the only copy and
that it has since been “lost” is not an acceptable excuse. The inability to resubmit another
copy of your paper on demand will be judged as the equivalent of never having submitted
the paper in the first place. You should keep a backup copy of your paper until you receive
a graded paper back from the instructor. You should also keep any graded paper until you
have confirmed that your final grade for the course is properly recorded in your university
record.
G. All requests to submit a paper after its due date must have the instructor’s agreement
in advance. Any paper submitted after the due date without prior knowledge and
agreement by the instructor risks an automatic “zero” grade.
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II. GENERAL POINTS
A. The Cardinal Sin: Do not retell or summarize biblical stories or other narratives.
Assume, in presenting your analysis, that the reader is already familiar with what the story
is all about. Your aim is analysis and interpretation. You can cite or discuss a given
narrative as being illustrative of a given point of interpretation or analysis, but
summarizing biblical stories, for example, without reference to analysis is just wasting
space.
Example:
During his fight against the Philistines, Samson fell in love with a prostitute named Delilah.
Hearing about this, the Philistines made a deal with Delilah. They told her, if she found out what
the weakness of Samson was, they would pay her a large sum of money.
Comment: This is a simple summary of the story in Judges and does nothing to advance any
sort of analysis.
B. Avoid “encyclopedic” papers, that is, papers that do nothing more than summarize the
state of scholarship for this or that topic after the manner one finds, for example, in
encyclopedia articles. Your aim is to do analysis: to take existing information from the
biblical text (supplemented, as appropriate, by secondary literature) and develop an
analytical, interpretive premise grounded in that evidence. Encyclopedic papers—or
extensive encyclopedic data in the body of your paper—will not be considered relevant to
your grade. Appropriate reference data of this nature should be relegated to footnotes or
endnotes (see below, section “VI”).
Example:
Ezekiel is one of the three Major Prophets within the Latter Prophets, which consist of
Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel. The prophet Ezekiel was a contemporary of Jeremiah, but one in
whom the prophetic impulse took a different form. He was first and last a priest (1:3). He
differed from the other prophets in defining Israel’s supreme sins as her stubborn indulgence in
idolatry that has rendered her “ritually unclean,” and as her disobedience to YHWH’s “statutes
and ordinances” (e.g. chapters 16; 5:7; 36:17).
Comment: While there is nothing intrinsically wrong about this paragraph in terms of the
information it presents, it is problematic as an introductory paragraph to an analytical essay. The
problem is that it is only descriptive and does not lead to a clear premise that will be the topic of
analytical study. If a paper were to continue in this broad based “encyclopedic” fashion and had
no detailed analysis in depth, the likelihood of it receiving a good grade would be significantly
diminished.
III. Avoid making facile comparisons between biblical times and “today.” Likewise, avoid
personalized statements that do little to advance an analytical premise. Your focus should
stay fixed on analysis of the text and what it means in its own terms, first and foremost.
Avoid trying to draw out of it lessons for “today” or highlighting your personal reaction to
reading the Bible.
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Example #1:
In the times of the Old Testament temptation usually came from a woman or from a desire to
gain wealth. Today, temptation is more prevalent, making it much harder to fight against.
Comment: This attempt to compare biblical past with modern day does not advance any
analytical point with regard to the significance of temptation in the Bible. It is simply a
gratuitous, editorial opinion of the writer that diverts the reader away from the analysis of
temptation that is the subject of the paper.
Example #2:
Through such a difficult experience, Abraham learned that, when in need, always trust in the
Lord; he will provide. The same still proves true in today’s society.
Comment: While the second point in this statement may well be true, it does nothing to
advance the analytical purpose of the paper. Such statements are to be avoided.
Example #3:
Abraham is the most self-sacrificing man that I have ever read or known about.
Comment: Appeals to personal experience of this nature are generally out of place in a formal
paper. Keep your narrative impersonal and only highlight your personal experience if it is
especially relevant to the argument. In this case, the argument is not materially changed by the
writer listing Abraham high on her personal list of self-sacrificing heroes. Rewrite: “This
narrative is intended to emphasize that Abraham was an ideal model of self-sacrifice.” Then, of
course, proceed to show what in the relevant text leads one to this conclusion.
Example #4:
Abraham follows the will of God, as today we should: without hesitation and without
complaint. Today, many people find it difficult not to steal or commit adultery, but as Genesis
22 explains, if one has true devotion to God . . . .
Comment: These allusions to the lesson of Genesis 22 for “today” divert the reader’s attention
away from exegetical analysis (see next heading: section “IV”). Keep your writing focused on
the text in its own terms. Writing an analytical paper is not the same thing as writing a sermon!
Example #5:
It came as a shock to me to be reading Judges 19 and then come across a rape. I have
never read the Bible before this class; however, my expectations of the Bible were to discover
how the Jews discovered themselves and found Israel. I knew the process of getting to Israel was
not easy, I have been learning the stories of the Israelites all my life; however, I never heard the
gruesome parts in-between. Discovering that detailed rape in the Bible somewhat crushed my
spirits on looking to the Bible for answers. Prof. Zuckerman always tells the class that the Bible
is a book of questions not answers, however I can’t help but hope to find answers in the Bible.
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Comment: This is certainly a heartfelt and sincere reaction by a student encountering a difficult
biblical narrative for the first time. But it is out of place in an academic paper, since it does
nothing to advance any sort of analytical argument.
IV. Avoid eisegesis (reading into a text) in an analytical paper. The focus instead should be
on exegesis, reading from out of the text and deriving from it one’s observations,
interpretations and conclusions.
Example #1:
B. Anderson explains that the four beasts in Daniel’s vision each have a different representation:
“the Babylonian (a lion with four wings and four heads), the Median (a bear with three ribs in its
mouth), the Persian (a leopard with four wings and four heads), and the Hellenistic or Seleucid
(the ten horns refer to the Seleucid kings and ‘the little horn speaking great things’ is Antiochus
Epiphanes” (Anderson, p. 626). I believe there is yet another description from a more political
view. The four beasts can be perceived as being the following: slavery, feudalism, capitalism,
and socialism/communism.
Comment: The first part of this statement is fine. The writer cites a solid, secondary source that
attempts to set the book of Daniel in its own times and reflects an exegesis that can be backed up
by considerable evidence from the text of Daniel itself. However, the second half of the
statement, beginning “I believe . . .,” is a broad statement attempting to read into the book of
Daniel a modern agenda of meaning. The writer simply presents this statement without making
any attempt to back it up from the text of Daniel itself. While the writer’s “belief” cannot be
disproved, it is not analytical since no evidence is brought forward to back up the observation.
The writer does not address the issue: what specifically can be used in the text of the book of
Daniel to show that its author shared this “more political view” and that the four beasts therefore
represent what he believes they represent?
Example #2:
Because Isaac was Abraham’s special son, Abraham loved Isaac more than anything. Yet he had
an even greater love, his love for the Lord, Jesus Christ.
Comment: There is nothing in the text of Genesis 22 (the focus of the paper from which this
statement is taken) to suggest that Abraham was a Christian who knew and worshipped Jesus as
the Christ at least 1000 years before Jesus lived. The only way this statement can be backed up
is by bringing to it knowledge outside the text; indeed, outside the Hebrew Bible. This type of
statement is confessional in tone; that is, it presents the writer’s Christian belief as the guiding
principle for drawing interpretive conclusions. While, from a religious standpoint, this is
certainly a reasonable stance, it should not be part of an analytical, academic paper (see next
heading: section “V”).
V. Avoid “confessional” statements of religious conviction guided primarily by your faith.
While such statements are certainly not objectionable, they are neither analytical nor
academic, but personal and—because of their very nature as faith-statements—
unprovable. One can grade analysis, but faith cannot be graded.
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Example #1:
In conclusion, God expresses His love for His followers by blessing them with countless gifts.
He also rewards those people who place their trust and faith in Him by providing them with
assurance that they will receive all that they need and desire.
Comment: A statement such as this is a “mini-sermon.” Even though one may wish to applaud
the sentiments, they are not analytical with regard to the biblical text, but rather a broad
statement of belief in God’s love. Note that the statement is not tied to any specific biblical text.
If the writer had stated, “the text of the Bible often demonstrates a confidence in God’s love for
his followers . . .” etc. with specific references to illustrate the point, then the statement would
have been appropriately analytical. Never take any issue regarding belief—especially one’s
personal belief as guided by faith—as a “given” in a biblical context for purposes of an academic
paper. Every such “statement of faith” must be demonstrated from the biblical text with specific
references (see section “VI”).
Example #2:
In Genesis 22, through his fear of the Lord, Abraham was able to carry out the Lord’s command,
which in turn caused him to be divinely blessed. From the story of Abraham and Isaac,
Christians are shown that the proper path to blessedness is through fear of the all-powerful
Creator.
Comment: The first part of this statement is entirely appropriate. However, in a formal,
academic paper, it is preferable to avoid pious, confessional statements of the sort found in the
last sentence. The focus of an analytical paper on a biblical topic should be on the text in its own
terms and what it was meant to convey on its own terms. Drawing a religious “lesson” from
Genesis for Christians (or any other religious group) is certainly far from objectionable, but it is
not the point of an academic paper. A better phrasing of the last sentence would be: “Genesis 22
was meant to show its ancient audience that the proper path to blessedness is through fear of the
all-powerful Creator.” Such a statement must then be backed up by specific references that
clearly illustrate the point.
Example #3:
God always sees over all and tests our faith in our daily lives. In Genesis 22:1-19, God tests
Abraham, forcing him to make a difficult decision and then rewards him for the sacrifice he was
willing to make.
Comment: In this case, the second sentence is an appropriate analytical statement, but the
preceding statement should be omitted since it is presented as a “given” based, presumably, on
the writer’s religious belief. Granted, God may well be omniscient and may be actively involved
in testing “our faith in our daily lives.” But this is not provable from the biblical text nor has the
writer even bothered to cite any evidence from the Bible itself to back these assumptions. Rather,
she is employing her own religious beliefs and convictions as the point of departure for her
discussion of Genesis 22. This is eisegesis, not exegesis.
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Example #4
An outstanding theme in the Book of Judges that resonates throughout the whole of the Bible is
to expect the unexpected. Those who are weak, rise; those who are mighty, fall; and sometimes it
seems as though those least deserving of God’s blessings receive them continually. The Author
of this drama is God Himself.
Comment: The first part of this statement is appropriate. The writer makes a general point
about the book of Judges that comes directly out of his reading of the text. However, the last
statement, attributing the design of Judges to the divine “Author,” is based on an unverifiable
judgment that anything one finds in the Bible must be due to God’s intention. From a religious
standpoint this is certainly a defensible viewpoint to take. But from an academic standpoint it is
confessional and therefore inappropriate.
Example #5
The rest of this paper depends upon the accepting Jesus as being the Messiah, based on
prophecy, probability, and Scripture. With Jesus fulfilling the role of the prophesied Messiah,
Son of God, and God Himself, the Love Covenant can begin to be assimilated and juxtaposed
with the prior covenants.
Comment: This statement was made about the middle of a student’s paper. Up to that point, his
analysis had been largely academic and analytical, but from this point on, his paper used various
“proof-texts” in the Hebrew Bible to affirm his conclusion that the reader must accept his faithposition
in order to follow his interpretation of what he characterized as the “Love Covenant.”
This is completely unacceptable in an academic paper. One should always write a paper from an
academic rather than from a faith perspective.
VI. Supply Specific References to back up your assertions. Ad hoc pronouncements carry
no weight. This is the most common error made in student papers: making statements or
presenting analytical points without giving specific evidence to back them up. Read the
following carefully so you can avoid making this common error that will significantly harm
your grade.
A. When making your first reference to the biblical text or any other primary text (e.g., the
Mesopotamian story of Atra hasis or Milton’s Paradise Lost), be sure to cite in a footnote
the edition you are using. Any following specific references (e.g., to biblical texts, tablets
and lines of a cuneiform text, book and lines of a poem) and even allusions to a given text
must be cited—whether they are direct quotations or indirect citations—in your main text,
using parentheses, without further endnote/footnote references.
Example #1:
The repetition, “your son, your only son whom you love, even Isaac,” indicates . . .
Comment: As the first reference in this paper, there should be a footnote after the quotation
stating: “Gen. 22:2. All biblical references in this paper are taken from . . .” with appropriate
bibliographical information added at this point.
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Example #2:
Abraham bound Isaac; and when he took the knife to slay his son, the angel of the Lord cried out
in order to stop him.
Comment: Even though there are no direct quotations from the biblical text, these indirect
citations must be properly referenced. If this is not the first biblical citation in the paper, then
such biblical references should be cited parenthetically in the text itself without further
footnotes/endnotes. Rewrite: “Abraham bound Isaac (Gen. 22:9); and when he took the knife to
slay his son, the angel of the Lord cried out in order to stop him” (Gen. 22:11).
B. A footnote/endnote marker should be placed after all punctuation marks rather than
before them.
Incorrect example:
The permanence of that covenant is emphasized in Abram’s cutting of the animals1
.
Correct example:
The permanence of that covenant is emphasized in Abram’s cutting of the animals.
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C. Biblical references should not be written out but can be kept simple, using standard
abbreviations in which chapter references are followed by a colon and then the verse
references.
Example #1:
. . . in the twenty-second chapter of Genesis, verses four through six the narrative reads . . .
Rewrite: “. . . in Gen. 22:4-6 the narrative reads. . .”
Example #2:
The first example found in the Court History occurs in II Samuel 13, verse 5.
Rewrite: “The first example found in the Court History occurs in 2 Sam. 13:5.
Example #3:
Destruction by fire is first illustrated in Genesis, chapter 19 . . . .
Rewrite: “Destruction by fire is first illustrated in Genesis 19. . . .”
Example #4
Jesus went willingly in order to fulfill the prophecy. (John 18)
Comment: This chapter reference is too vague. Where in John 18 is this point illustrated? A
reference to the relevant verses is required.
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D. When citing the title of a biblical book, do not italicize it. Keep the reference short, e.g.,
“Judges,” rather than “the Book of Judges.”
Example:
Deborah was one of the most influential women in the Book of Judges.
Rewrite: Deborah was one of the most influential women in Judges.
E. When quoting a biblical text, never place the chapter/verse reference itself within the
quotation marks of the quote.
Example:
This can be seen by his saying, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire
besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion
forever (Psalm 73:25-26).”
Comment: Correct this to: “. . . and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:25-26).
F. If you are making reference to material outside the Bible, be sure to cite the source of
your information in a footnote or endnote and include page references. Simply citing
sources as “bibliography” at the end of your paper is not sufficient. Footnotes/endnotes
should be done according to one of the commonly accepted styles.
Example:
One Canaanite belief was that the god Baal fought a terrible war with a very powerful
enemy, the giant sea serpent, Leviathan. Baal was victorious and bound Leviathan, throwing
him into the darkness of the ocean depths. . . .
Comment: This statement is inadequate if left standing alone since it clearly relies on primary
and/or secondary evidence outside the Bible. A footnote or endnote reference is required.
G. When citing any text, even one utilized in the course, be sure to cite in a footnote or
endnote the edition you are using at the point of your first specific reference.
Example:
Moby Dick often seems God-like and is worshipped by members of the very crew hunting him.
One crew member prays, “Oh, thou big white God aloft somewhere in yon darkness, have mercy
on this small black boy down here.” (p. 239)
Comment: This is inadequate as a first reference to Moby Dick. Instead the writer should have
added a footnote/endnote and cited the edition of the text employed, even if that is the edition
assigned in the syllabus.
H. Never make a vague statement of attribution to unnamed “authorities.” Always cite
examples.
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Example #1:
The original serpent often is read as referring to the serpent in the Garden of Eden . . . .
Comment: Not an adequate statement without specific example(s) to illustrate the point, which
must be footnoted or endnoted.
Example #2:
While the words of the Nicene Creed may seem to hold the powerful Roman procurator of
Judaea to blame for the death of Jesus, Pilate is treated with sympathy by most Christians.
Comment: This is a vague, unprovable statement; after all, no one has taken a poll to determine
what “most Christians” think about Pilate! Better to rephrase: “. . . there are grounds for seeing
Pilate as a reasonably sympathetic character.” Of course, then the specific grounds for this claim
should then be carefully delineated and backed up by specific references from the relevant
biblical texts and/or secondary literature.
Example #3:
Some say that God cannot cause evil; yet he created it.
Comment: The obvious question is just who these “some” bodies are! Better: “One may wish
to argue the philosophical position that God cannot cause evil, even though he created it.”
Example #4:
Although Milton’s Paradise Regain’d is considered a brief epic. . . .
Comment: This statement obviously draws upon an outside reference, which must be cited in a
footnote or endnote. Just who labels this work by Milton as a “brief epic”?
Example #5:
Philosophers often debate the existence of God, and they place three requirements on what they
qualify as the definition of “God.”
Comment: Unless specific philosophers are mentioned, this statement is made without specific
attribution. Better: “One may debate the existence of God by considering three criteria for a
definition of the deity.” Then specific references, citing the basis for this debate, should be
noted.
Example #6:
Abraham, who was later to be called the “father of the Jews” . . . .
Comment: Never make vague, unattributed statements like this in a formal paper. If you wish
to assert that the title “father of the Jews” was applied to Abraham, you must supply specific
references to show by whom, when.
Example #7:
God, to most believers, is merely seen as a genie or a Santa Claus, not as the ultimate Being.
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Comment: This is a vague, unprovable and dismissive statement, which implicitly sets the
writer up as an omniscient judge who knows what believers really believe. Such off-hand
statements only detract from the credibility of a paper’s arguments.
Example #8:
Especially in comparison to King Saul, who is known to many as a tragic king, King David
might be considered as the most beloved king.
Comment: And just who precisely are these unnamed but multitudinous “many”? The writer
might have bothered at least to cite one authority!
Example #9:
When making an account of the story of Samson in the book of Judges, many past and present
works of literature attribute Samson’s great strength to his lengthy hair.
Comment: Unless examples of such “past and present works of literature” are specifically cited,
this statement is vague, unfounded and unacceptable.
I. When making a first reference to a specific scholarly authority in your main text, you
should always give both the first initial of his first name and last name. Thereafter, you
can dispense with the first initial and simply use the last name.
Example:
Smart states, “If it is history, then it is exceedingly curious history, without parallel elsewhere in
the Old Testament, and it is hard to see much reason for its preservation.” Smart goes on to note
. . . .
Rewrite: G. Smart states . . . . Smart goes on to note . . . .
J. IMPORTANT NOTE ON CITATION OF INTERNET SOURCES: When you cite a
reference from an Internet source, you are required to make an electronic copy of all
relevant material from that site and append it as an “appendix” to your paper. If you do
not do so, the citation and all relevant analysis based thereon will not be considered as
being a part of your paper and your grade will be impacted accordingly.
K. Simply citing an authority from secondary literature cannot be seen, in and of itself, as
“proof” that the position therein asserted is valid. It is your responsibility to examine the
assertion critically and consider what evidence there is in favor or against the authority’s
opinion. This especially applies to sources taken from Internet websites—including
Wikipedia! Simply because a given website makes a statement, you cannot assume that this
allows you to conclude that the statement is valid. When in doubt, consult the instructor or
the teaching assistant in order to determine whether a particular written source or website
is considered a reliable authority.
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Example #1:
Looking first to the predecessors of Christianity, we see that:
The figure of Baphomet/Daksha has become the image of Satan, which is ironic since
this is the same Aryan deity who would become the Creator in the Old Testament of the
Bible and God the Father in the New Testament (Aoumiel p. 80)
Comment: This broad statement—made without any attribution from Aryan texts or citations
from the Old or New Testaments—cannot be uncritically assumed to be valid simply because it
was found in a book or on a website. At least the writer should have begun the statement:
“Aoumiel has asserted . . .” thereby signaling that this is an opinion that may be open to
challenge. Moreover, the writer should make some attempt to explain why this particular
“authoritative” opinion is reliable as opposed to other opinions or interpretations.
Example #2:
Scholars agree that the Babylonians exported anywhere from eight to ten thousand people from
the upper classes of Judah during the Exile to prevent any revolt (Polhill p. 9).
Comment: While this statement looks basically OK and does have a reference to back it up, it
really goes too far when it suggests that “scholars agree” with the view presented here on the
authority of Polhill. If you wish to employ a particular scholar to be your authority for a given
point, then cite him/her alone rather than using the scholar as a “stand-in” for the entire scholarly
community. Better to rephrase: “According to R. Polhill, perhaps eight to ten thousand people
from the upper classes . . . .”
L. Avoid making ad hoc statements that are based solely on your belief but are not
provable by the evidence of the text (see further, heading “V”).
Example #1:
The narrators of biblical stories are always completely reliable; that is, the reader knows that
everything the narrator says is true.
Comment: This statement cannot be definitively proven. While the writer may strongly believe
this to be so, from an academic standpoint it cannot be asserted based on the textual data. It is
essentially a statement of faith.
Example #2:
In the Bible the tie between mother and son is supposed to be too strong to be broken; however,
this was not the case.
Comment: The claim is made as a “given” that is so obvious that it needs no further
corroboration. One might reasonably question this premise in any case; but, more to the point, in
the context of biblical times, how dare we assume this without corroborating evidence?
Statements like this one need to be backed up by specific references from the biblical text that
illustrate the point.
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Example #3:
God’s omnipotence makes him a perfect father.
Comment: This ad hoc statement, made without further qualification, is questionable. One
could be both all-powerful and still be a less than perfect father. Power and perfection do not
necessarily go together as cause-and-effect. At minimum, the writer should explain why she
thinks omnipotence necessarily makes God a “perfect father.” Even better, she should attempt to
make this point in biblical terms. That is, she should consider what specifically in the biblical
text would lead one to the conclusion that the biblical writers believe that divine omnipotence
makes God a “perfect father.”
Example #4:
However, “faith” and “obedience” are not quite the same thing. In fact, these two terms have
distinct interpretations. “Faith,” for example, connotes an individual’s confidence or trust. This
cannot be equated with “obedience” which connotes an individual’s loyalty.
Comment: While, as working interpretations, these depictions of “faith” and “obedience” are
reasonable; nonetheless, the writer has not given any grounds on which to base his respective
understandings of these terms. Rather, he has taken his definitions as “given”—as though his
definitions were “common-knowledge” and thus not requiring any further proof or backing.
Such ad hoc statements are not acceptable. There are three ways he could have handled this
better. First, he could have cited a particular authority (e.g., a dictionary) on which to base his
definitions of “faith” and “obedience.” Even better, he could have cited an appropriate passage
or passages from the text he was analyzing that, in his view, illustrated aspects of “faith” and
“obedience.” Finally, he could have simply qualified his statement as his own working
definitions for these terms by stating: “For purposes of this paper, I am defining ‘faith’ as
‘showing confidence and trust’ and ‘obedience’ as ‘loyalty from an individual.’”
M. It is acceptable to make reference to the instructor’s lecture (or to observations from
the teaching assistant, during discussion period) when appropriate. In that case, the
relevant authority should be cited along with the date of the lecture and/or discussion
period in a footnote or endnote.
Example:
According to Prof. Zuckerman, the best translation of tohu wbohu in Genesis 1 is “a mish and a
mash,” connoting a watery mass rather than emptiness, as the traditional translation (e.g., in the
King James Version), “without form and void.” implies.
Comment: This statement would then be referenced in a footnote or endnote as follows:
“Zuckerman, lecture Religion 111g, September 1, 2010.”
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N. Good examples of statements backed up with references:
Example #1:
The main implication of Qoheleth’s proverbs is that God remains completely uninvolved in
human affairs. God has instead set into motion an omnipresent system that is not halted or
altered. He alone knows when he will act, irrespective of the toils and desires of men. Qoheleth
writes, “I know that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor taken
from it. God has done this so that all should stand in awe before him. That which is, already has
been, that which is to be, already is; and God seek out what has gone by” (3:14-15).
Comment: This statement makes a strong, direct point regarding Qoheleth’s viewpoint and then
immediately illustrates it with a relevant, referenced citation from the book of Ecclesiastes.
Example #2:
Faith is a prominent element in the story of Abraham and Isaac. In Genesis 22 God requests a
sacrifice from Abraham, but not just any sacrifice. The Lord asks Abraham for his one and only
son. While rebellion, frustration, hostility and doubt seem to be obvious, natural emotions for
Abraham at this request, the narrative portrays him only as obedient. The account does not
bother to depict how Abraham feels. God gives an order, and Abraham obeys. In Gen. 22:2 God
says, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to region of Moriah.
Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.” Then, right
after God gives His decree, the narrative goes right into the journey. It never mentions any sort
of resentment or denial by Abraham.
Comment: This paragraph is strongly written, states a sharp premise from the outset and cites a
specific reference to illustrate the points being made by the writer. Note, too, that the writer not
only pays attention to what the biblical narrative says, but also is sensitive to what has been left
out—an equally important analytical and interpretive aspect of the text under scrutiny, Genesis
22.
Example #3:
Abraham’s first act of blind faith in chapter 22 occurs while he gathers the supplies needed to
make the sacrifice of his son. This incident is sparked when the unknowing child asks, “The fire
and the wood are here, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” (Gen. 22:7). Abraham
responds by saying, “God, himself, will provide the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.” (Gen.
22:8) Abraham’s response to Isaac has two distinct meanings. Abraham realizes that God did
provide the burnt offering in the form of Isaac. More importantly, Abraham implicitly trusts that
God will come through at the last minute and provide an alternate sacrifice.
Comment: This paragraph mixes analysis with specific, corroborating references very well.
The first sentence states a premise that is immediately illustrated by quotations from Gen. 22:7,
8. The premise is then reinforced in terms of the writer’s interpretation of these verses in the
broader context of the narrative.
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Example #4:
In Genesis 22 Abraham is commissioned to do one of the hardest things any father can be asked
to do, to sacrifice his son. God said, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love and
go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will
tell you” (Gen. 22:2). God knows that Isaac is not just any son. He says “your son, your only
son” in verse two and repeats it in verse 12, showing that He understands that this is the first and
only son Sarah gave birth to.
Comment: This is a good, detailed discussion in which the writer focuses on a single phrase and
attempts to assess its implications for the entire story in Genesis 22 of Abraham’s near-sacrifice
of his son Isaac.
VII. Stylistic Matters
A. Avoid changing tense from one sentence to the next. Take care to keep your tenses
consistent throughout. This error occurs, on average, in about half the papers we receive.
If you do not stay consistent in tense, you can be sure that your grade will be consistently
downgraded.
Example #1:
Western depiction of Adam strives [present tense verb] to produce a more complete character for
modern society that can alleviate [present tense verbs] the tensions in the biblical text. The
contradictions and ambiguities of creation in the first chapters of Genesis left [past tense verb]
great opportunities for writers to rationalize. . . .
Rewrite: “. . . Genesis leaves great opportunities . . . . ”
Example #2:
God sees [present tense] Abraham as a God-fearing man. Abraham then chose [past tense] . . . .
Comment: Better: “God saw Abraham as a God-fearing man. Abraham then chose . . . .”
Example #3:
God commanded [past tense] Abraham to offer Isaac, his most beloved son, as a sacrifice.
Without hesitation, Abraham brings [present tense] him and his two men to the shrine and was
[past tense] ready to kill his son . . . .
Comment: Better: “God commanded Abraham to offer Isaac, his most beloved son, as a
sacrifice. Without hesitation, Abraham brought him and his two men to the shrine and was ready
to kill his son . . . . ”
B. Take care that you maintain agreement between subject and verb—especially when the
subject is a compound phrase.
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Example:
Incorrect:
Because the Bible is a literary work, particular word-choice and phrasing is of paramount
importance . . .
Correct:
Because the Bible is a literary work, particular word-choice and phrasing are of paramount
importance . . .
C. Avoid switching from singular to plural or plural to singular in successive clauses or
sentences.
Incorrect Example #1:
If one dismissed this as insignificant, then they would be quite confused . . . .
Correct:
If one dismissed this as insignificant, then he or she would be quite confused . . . .
Incorrect Example #2:
What is the difference between a mentally ill person who claims to hear voices in their
head . . . .?
Correct:
What is the difference between a mentally ill person who claims to hear voices in his/her
head . . . ?
Incorrect Example #3:
When God made someone judge, he usually chose them because . . . .
Correct:
When God made someone judge, he usually chose him/her because . . . .
Incorrect Example #4:
A biblical scholar might dismiss this omission as irrelevant. Indeed, they might speculate . . . .
Correct:
A biblical scholar might dismiss this omission as irrelevant. Indeed, he/she might speculate . . .
Incorrect Example #5:
Each will act in the way their parents . . . .
Correct:
Each will act in the way his/her parents . . . .
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D. Avoid switches in person of nouns and pronouns; for example, from third person to
second person.
Example #1:
If one strays from the covenant, the Lord will leave you.
Comment: Read: “If one strays from the covenant, the Lord will leave him/her.”
Example #2:
The change has occurred by the time you realize it. The knowledge is within one’s mind . . . .
Rewrite: “The change has occurred by the time one realizes it. The knowledge is within his or
her mind . . . .”
E. Always use a personal relative pronoun (who/whom) in agreement with a proper noun
or pronoun.
Example:
Job discusses his situation with his friends that try to convince him . . .
Rewrite: Job discusses his situation with his friends, who try to convince him . . .
F. Avoid clichés, especially gratuitous, basically meaningless adjectival qualifiers and/or
instances that are unjustified overstatements:
Example #1:
The countless parables of chapter 9 and 31 are also great examples of his quest for justice.
Comment: Avoid “countless” like the plague! The use of “countless” in this context adds
nothing to our understanding of the statement and, furthermore, is incorrect. After all, one could
count the parables in these chapters!
Example #2:
These questions have been the subject of endless debate among . . . .
Comment: The clichéd “endless debate” adds nothing to one’s grasp of the point, especially
when no examples are then cited of such debate. Better: “These questions pose problems that
have often been the subject of heated debate . . . .” Examples should be cited then to exemplify
the point.
Example #3:
Needless to say, the young Isaac was the very embodiment of obedience.
Comment: If the point is “needless to say,” then why the need to say it? Needless to say, avoid
this expression like the plague!
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Example #4:
Due to Abraham’s undying faith in God . . . .
Comment: There is nothing in the biblical text that implies that Abraham’s faith transcends
death, nor has the writer endeavored to prove that Abraham’s faith is undying. This is a “throwaway”
adjective. Rewrite: “Due to Abraham’s unwavering faith in God. . . . .”
G. Avoid “run-on” sentences that go on and on . . . . Shorter sentences are better than
long, complex sentences.
Example #1:
As a result of their impatience and lack of strong faith in the Lord their God—the one who
delivered them from the hands of the evil king of Egypt (pharaoh) and promised to given the
promised land—they, on many occasions, devoted themselves to other gods, an action that
always drew anger out of God because of his jealousy.
Rewrite: The Israelites showed impatience and had little faith in the Lord their God, who
delivered them from the evil, Egyptian pharaoh. Instead, they often devoted themselves to
foreign gods, and this angered their own God, due to his jealousy.
Example #2:
While God’s curses often hurt Israel, this did not happen as he had wished, when he enslaved
them to the Philistines, something that bothered him that he chose Samson to judge Israel and
deliver his (God’s) people from the hands of the Philistines, a hard task for Samson, given the
strong conviction and relationship the children of Israel had with the Philistine gods and the
people, respectively.
Rewrite: God frequently cursed Israel because the nation did not act according to his wishes.
Nonetheless, after enslaving the nation to the Philistines, God chose Samson as the judge to
deliver the Israelites from Philistine oppression. This burdened Samson with a difficult task,
considering that the people maintained a close relationship with the Philistine gods.
Example #3:
This meant that he would lose his child and it did as his child never would talk to him after this
incident, however, he was willing to do anything for God and in return God blessed his life.
Rewrite: This meant that he would lose his child, and in one sense this actually proved to be the
case. After this incident, the child appears never to have talked to him again. Nonetheless, he
was willing to do whatever God demanded. In return, God blessed his life.
H. Avoid the impersonal use of “it.” I will let you get away with this occasionally, but if
you use this construction liberally, it will give you no end of trouble from me.
Example #1:
In the third chapter of Genesis, it never says. . . .
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In Judges 6:1 it says . . .
Comment: Never use this kind of construction. Better would be: “In Genesis 3, the text never
says. . . .”; “Genesis 3 states . . .”; or “In Judges 6:1 the text states. . .”; “Judges 6:1 states . . . .”
Example #2:
No one should come before God and unfortunately too many times it occurs.
Comment: Better: “Even though this biblical narrative makes the point that no one should
come before God; nonetheless, God is not always given the priority He deserves.”
Example #3:
Thus, having taken this into account, it would seem more likely that God’s test is a bluff.
Comment: Better: “When all aspects of the narrative are considered, God’s test appears more
likely to be a bluff.”
I. Make sure there is a grammatically correct antecedent for a pronominal reference or a
pronominal phrase. Avoid “dangling participles”!
Example #1:
The dawning of Puritanism, in which they viewed literature as. . . .
Rewrite: “At that time, the Puritans viewed literature. . . .”
Example #2:
By seeing the parallels between Samson’s actions and the actions of Israel throughout the book
of Judges, God’s message to the Israelites becomes clear.
Rewrite: “By seeing the parallels between Samson’s actions and the actions of Israel throughout
the book of Judges, one grasps how God’s message to the Israelites becomes clear.”
Example #3:
After killing all the men, women and children, we may expect the Israelites departure from
Jericho.
Rewrite: “We expect the Israelites to depart from Jericho after they have killed all the men,
women and children.”
J. Avoid gratuitous, conversational/colloquial qualifiers or other usages unless you are
using them intentionally for stylistic effect.
Example #1:
In fact, how can we praise the Lord for the success of humankind and then curse humankind for
their failures without considering the role of God? Well, the natural answer . . . .
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Comment: The addition of “well” adds nothing to our understanding of the argument and it
should be omitted.
Example #2:
Abraham ran to Sarah and asked her what to do, so she directed him to get all this food and stuff.
Comment: While “and stuff” has become a gratuitous filler in conversational speech, it is
hardly appropriate in a formal paper. What “stuff” is meant?
Example #3
Not only are the stereotypical roles of women screwed in this story but likewise the stereotypical
roles of men.
Comment: While I can think of instances where a slightly vulgar usage such as “screwed”
(perhaps better here would have been “screwed up”) might give a nice, rhetorical kick to a
sentence, here this use seems to be done with little forethought. Remember: a formal paper is
not the place for everyday language unless that language is intentionally employed to make a
point.
K. Avoid the use of gratuitous contractions in a formal paper. Only employ contractions
for effect—that is, when you intentionally wish to add an informal, colloquial sense to your
observation. The gratuitous usage of contractions in a formal paper is something I can’t
stand—so watch it!
Example:
Abraham does not fear the loss of his son; he doesn’t even seem to have any second thoughts. . . .
Comment: Better: “Abraham does not fear the loss of his son nor does he seem to have any
second thoughts. . . .”
L. Wherever possible use an active, transitive verb rather than an equivalent construction
with a form of the verb “to be.”
Example #1:
In order to test Abraham and see if he was a god-fearing man, he was being put through a test
designed by God.
Comment: Better: “God put Abraham to the test in order to assess the extent to which he
feared God.”
Example #2:
This would have been seen as a better possibility. . . .
Comment: Better: “This would appear the better possibility. . . .”
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Example #3:
In the book of Genesis, God is hand picking those . . .
Comment: Better: “In the book of Genesis, God hand picks those . . . .”
Example #4:
In this essay I will be examining a selected phrase from Genesis 22:1-19 . . .
Comment: Better: “In this essay, I will examine a selected phrase from Genesis
22:1-19 . . . .”
M. Avoid split infinitives in a formal paper. Occasionally, I will let this pass if the phrase
becomes too awkward without the splitting of the infinitive, but when in doubt, keep your
infinitival phrases whole.
Example:
This passage serves to not only offer a lesson in blind obedience . . . .
Comment: Better: “This passage serves not only to offer a lesson in blind
obedience . . . .”
N. Avoid introductory sentences (or worse, paragraphs, or even worse page-upon-page)
that do little to advance your argument. Get to the point!
Example #1:
I have chosen the character of Abraham as the topic for discussion. Let us look at the character
of Abraham. He is known as a righteous man . . . .
Comment: Better: “The narrative in Genesis goes to great lengths to portray Abraham as a
righteous man . . . .”
Example #2:
We, as a people, often look for answers regarding how we can lead fruitful and fulfilling lives.
Many of us turn to an ancient scripture of some sort, whether it be the Bible, the Koran or
something different. In sacred books we find the answers to life’s problems and use the text as a
guide to our own mental and spiritual health. We can find many short stories or parables that
seem to facilitate this learning process. The Bible in particular offers a lifetime of knowledge
concerning spirituality and self-betterment. We can learn from the Bible how to love ourselves,
our brothers, our sisters and, most importantly, God. The Book of Genesis especially presents
ideas about growing closer to God. The passage in Genesis 22:1-19 well illustrates the
importance of man’s unquestioning obedience to God.
Comment: This is an example of the “In the beginning, God created my paper . . .” syndrome.
Avoid taking up pointless space getting to your point! Only the last sentence of this longwinded,
introductory paragraph is necessary. The rest is hackneyed “window-dressing.”
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Example #3:
From Moses and the Israelites wandering the desert for forty years to the story of Jonah being
swallowed alive by a large fish, the Bible is full of strange and unlikely adventures. The Book of
Judges tells the stories of great leaders in Israel who rescue their people from the oppression of
other nations. This has its share of peculiar and exciting tales. One such story deals with a man
called Ehud, the second judge for the nation of Israel. Ehud was not one of the conventional
Judges that the Israelites were expecting to save them from oppression of the Moabite King
Eglon . . . .
Comment: It is not useful to waste space telling the reader how interesting the Bible is with all
its “strange and unlikely” tales or that Judges has “its share of peculiar and exciting tales.” Cut
to the chase! Only the last sentence of this meandering introductory paragraph should have been
written. The rest is gratuitous.
Example #4:
Most people are not aware of the countless thousands of biblical allusions that surround them in
their everyday lives. In everything from advertising to politics, the Bible has, throughout the
course of history, woven itself into the tapestry that we know as human culture. In many ways
the Bible can be seen as an integral and important factor in what we have become and what we
will become as a people. The Bible’s high place in our society has resulted in its diverse
representation and the ceaseless analysis of the biblical text, which in turn has served to inspire
many great minds to offer their own versions of what could have happened. Most would agree
that the Bible can often be a semantically ambiguous piece of literature. Thus, new angles
provided by some scholars serve to highlight important issues. Samson Agonistes by John
Milton gives an interesting view of the Bible’s Samson and Delilah in Judges 16:4-31. . . .
Comment: This is almost a perfect example of what not to do! Not only is the introduction
long-winded and cliché-ridden—the “observations” tell us nothing particularly interesting nor do
they do anything to advance any particular viewpoint. An introduction such as this is just filling
wasted space. Only the last sentence is relevant, and even its claim that Milton’s is an
“interesting view” falls flat as premise upon which to build an analysis.
O. Be careful that you write sentences in which pronouns have clear rather than
ambiguous antecedents.
Example #1:
One can safely assume that, after God commanded Abraham to make the sacrifice, there was a
great sadness for himself.
Comment: Is it Abraham or is it God who shows the sadness? Better: “We can safely assume
that Abraham was greatly saddened when God commanded him to make the sacrifice.”
Example #2:
Later, when Adam hides from God, we see a strong emotional reaction that hints at the
magnitude of the fruit’s impact on them.
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Comment: This would be OK if the antecedent had been “Adam and Eve” rather than just
“Adam”; the writer just assumes that the reader understands that the “them” must refer to the
original couple. Granted, you can figure this out, but from a grammatical standpoint you cannot
create an extra person like this—maybe God can, but in the Zuckerman version of paradise, this
is a definite sin!
P. Learn the proper use of the apostrophe. In particular, learn the difference between
“it’s” and “its.” Use “it’s” only as the contraction for “it is.” “Its” without apostrophe is
the possessive pronoun: meaning “belonging to it.” Violate this rule and fire and
brimstone will rain down upon your grade!
Example:
Incorrect: Samson Agonistes subtly forces it’s readers. . . .
Correct: Samson Agonistes subtly forces its readers. . . .
Q. Try to avoid use of the phrase “the fact that . . .” or “due to the fact that . . . .” The fact
is, I hate this cliché and will make you suffer should you dare to use it too often.
Example #1:
God did not approve of the fact that Joab allied himself to Adonijah instead of Solomon.
Rewrite: “God did not approve of Joab’s alliance with Adonijah instead of with Solomon.”
Example #2:
Despite the fact that the book of Jeremiah was written several thousand years ago . . . .
Rewrite: “Even though the book of Jeremiah was written several thousand years ago . . . .
Example #3:
The intention of the authors of Judges was not to emphasize child sacrifice in the story of
Jephthah but to show that the fact that Jephthah was an honorable and courageous man.
Rewrite: The intention of the authors of Judges was not to emphasize child sacrifice in the
story of Jephthah but to show that Jephthah was an honorable and courageous man.
R. Short quotations should be marked with double-quotation marks (with quotes-withinquotes
marked with single-quotation marks), but longer quotations should be indented
without quotation marks, and should also be single-spaced rather than double-spaced. If a
quote-within-quote is used in an indented quote, it should be marked with a doublequotation
mark. The general rule is that quotations of four lines or longer should be
indented and single-spaced; however, shorter passages can also be handled in this fashion
in order to be emphasized. Typically, poetic passages—even short poetic passages—are
more easily followed when indented. In all indented, single-spaced quotations, the
reference can be placed parenthetically at the end of the passage.
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Example of short quotation:
We can note that in Gen. 22:2, God calls Isaac Abraham’s “only son.”
Example of a longer quotation:
Jeremiah considers the new covenant in this fashion:
Behold, the days are coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant
with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I
made with their fathers when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the
land of Egypt, my covenant which they broke, though I was their husband . . . .
(Jer. 31:31-32)
Example of a poetic quotation:
Milton lays out his agenda in the opening of Paradise Lost:
That to the highth of this great argument
I may assert Eternal Providence,
And justify the wayes of God to men. (Book 1, lls. 24-26)
S. Spelling. The following words should never be misspelled. No mercy will be given unto
you for breaking this commandment:
altar (place of worship—not “alter”)
among (in the midsts of—do not employ the British usage “amongst”)
angel (heavenly messenger—not “angle”)
ark (Noah’s boat and the “footstool” of the Lord—not “arc”)
Benjaminite (tribe of Israel—not “Benjamite”)
Bible/biblical (the noun, “Bible” should be capitalized; the adjective, “biblical” should be lower
case—watch it, or a disaster of biblical proportions will destroy your grade.)
canon (authoritative scripture—not “cannon”)
deity (a divine being—“diety”)
desert (a dry place—not “dessert”)
divine (holy—not “devine”)
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Esau (the twin brother of Jacob—no “Asau”)
Ezekiel (the prophet—not “Ezekial”)
Isaac (the patriarch—not “Issac”)
Israel (God’s chosen people—not “Isreal”)
Jeremiah (the prophet—not “Jerimiah”)
manner (way of doing things—not “manor”)
Nazirite (a person devoted to God—not “Nazarite”)
Promised Land (the land promised to the Israelites—not “Promise Land”)
prophet (a messenger from God—not “profit”)
Qoheleth (or Koheleth) (author of Ecclesiastes—not “Quoheleth”)
route (the path one takes—not “root”)
Samuel (a biblical judge and prophet or a biblical book—not “Samual”)
serpent (a snake as in the Garden of Eden—not “serpant”)
shepherd (someone who looks after a flock—not “sheppard”)
Sinai (mountain of God—not “Sanai”)
stela (or stele) (ancient monument usually with an inscription—not “stella”)
throne (the seat of royalty—not “thrown”)
vassal (someone who owes allegiance to a superior—not “vessel”)
verses (numbered passages in biblical chapters—not “versus”)
Yahweh or YHWH (the special name of the biblical God—not “Yaweh”)
yoke (a burden or a restraint for beasts of burden—not “yolk”)
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T. A memorable passage from a student’s paper:
It is difficult to read this story and not think that Samson must be very dumb to fall into the same
tramp five times.