Subject: English
The essay Rhetorical Analysis is about a specific topic. The assignment is not about rhetorical analysis but about using rhetorical analysis techniques to make a point about advertisers’ use of these techniques to sell their products. Therefore, focus more on the topic of advertising.1.       Please delete the first paragraph completely and write a new introduction.
2.       Introduction should introduce the topic of advertisements. You should use opening sentences that attract the attention of the reader. These sentences should start with the introduction of the topic of advertising. You can use one of the five options on page 408 or the three options on page 409 (under the section “Using a Lead to Draw in the Readers.” In this section on page 409, the anecdote is the most effective one.
3.       Give background information of the topic explaining the role of advertising and their effect on the society.
4.       That should lead you into the thesis. The thesis should be persuasive. You have to write a statement that specifically states whether using the rhetorical techniques for selling the products works or not. Remove the announcement format in the second paragraph. You can keep the description of the products. 

Revise for comma use.


Policies for revising the Rhetorical analysis paper:

All aspects of the paper that have been asked to be revised should be rewritten according to the suggestions given in the feedback.Essays that are not revised according to the feedback given will not improve in grade.
Revision means first you modify the content. First you revise the organization and development. This includes writing a focused thesis and related topic sentences, providing supporting evidence, transitions, and required in-text citations. Then you revise for grammar and punctuation; for this, you will examine the mistakes that have been marked in the first papers. Revise to remove repetitive errors. Repetitive mistakes will significantly reduce your grade.  

 Grammar: in the comments, if there is a statement that “there are repetitive grammar mistakes,” then students should use the comments for grammar from the previous paper also as a checklist to make sure that repetitive mistakes are removed.
Revision does not mean modifying a few words or expressions. Revisions are comprehensive; sometimes, the whole essay will have to be rewritten.

Adjustment of Grades for the first draft: if the final draft gets a better grade, the grade for the first draft will be adjusted to the same grade level if the following conditions are met:1.      The first and the final drafts are submitted on time.
2.      The first draft was a complete draft and the final draft was also complete.
3.      The final draft shows improvement.
4.      All the aspects of the paper have been revised.
5.      There is no plagiarism in the first and final draft. If there is plagiarism in either draft, there will be no adjustment in the grade.

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